Hey guys... SHES BACK!!!

[Recklesss]

[Recklesss]

lol this site kind of rocks E-mails from an *******

if you are bored anyway...

Original ad:
I am in need of a reliable and SAFE driver to take my 10-year-old daughter home from after-school soccer practice starting in September and ending in late November. She needs to be taken from school in Exton to home in Bryn Mawr. It should take about an hour each day. You will be needed Mon, Tues, Thurs, and Fri. Looking for a safe driver with a clean driving record. E-mail at ***********@comcast.net with references. We can discuss compensation. Thanks!

From Me to ************@comcast.net

Good afternoon.

My name is Mike Partlow and I am very interested in this job. I have a lot of experience driving under dangerous conditions and guarantee your daughter will arrive safely at home every day.

If you are still looking for a dependable driver, please write back.

Sincerely,

Mike Partlow

From Kate ******** to Me

Mr. Partlow (can I call you Mike?),

I still am looking for a driver. Good to know you can handle dangerous conditions...but there probably will not be any dangerous conditions; you are just taking my daughter down Rt 3.

Tell me about yourself - are you a professional driver? Do you have any references from past jobs? What kind of car do you own? Is it reliable?

- Kate

From Me to Kate ********

Kate,

You can call me Mike. I was never one for formalities.

A little about myself, I am 37 years old, and worked as a mercenary driver in the Middle East. I have escorted important clients through high-risk areas in Iraq and Afghanistan for five years. I have seen a lot of action, and have ensured the safety of my clients. Out of all the jobs I have done, 90% of my clients arrived at their destination unharmed.

I have several references. I'll have one of them e-mail you.

My car is very safe and reliable - perfect for your daughter. It is an armored 2007 Chevy Suburban. All glass has been replaced with multi-layered ballistic glass capable of stopping a 7.62 x 39 bullet dead in its tracks. The doors, roof, and floor have been reinforced with ballistic steel/composite that can withstand IED blasts and stop grenade fragmentation. This car has been put to the test and will always deliver.

Safety and protection is my #1 priority. The car is fully loaded with an HK416 assault rifle that fire under the toughest conditions. The roof has a 40mm MK-19 automatic grenade launcher turret installed. Hopefully we won't have to use it, but it is good to have. I can't tell you how many times I've had to return fire against an enemy APC. I assure you that nobody will mess with your daughter as I escort her home from soccer practice.

Now lets discuss pay. I have various security packages I offer, and for your daughter I recommend my medium package which will run you $200 an hour. I also have a minimal package which is only $125 an hour. It is entirely up to you.

Let me know,

Mike Partlow

From Kate ******** to Me

This has to be a joke. This isnt Bagdad, it's suburban PA...

Are you just being sarcastic? What do you really drive? I want to pay 30 bucks a day, tops.

From Me to Kate ********

Kate,

Safety/protection is no joke. For $30, you are likely to get some 17-year-old kid who just got his license and will drive your daughter in his unarmored Ford Focus. I've seen an IED blow a Ford Focus into thousands of pieces, none larger than a golf ball.

My security package is well worth the $200 per trip. We will pick your daughter up in a random Suburban. Four trucks will pull up, and she will get into a random one every day. This is so the enemy does not know which one to attack. The Suburban she is in will have an armed security detail of men I have worked with in Iraq. We know what we are doing. She will be escorted in our convoy down the highway at a high rate of speed to avoid stopping in "kill zones." All vehicles are equipped with an MIRT which is used to change the traffic lights to green so we will not have to slow down. Your daughter will arrive safely in your arms no later than 20 minutes from when she is extracted from the soccer field.

Please reconsider my offer. You can't put a price on your daughter's safety.

From Kate ******** to Me

Stop wasting my time. Don't e-mail me again.


(later, from another e-mail account)

From Nick Walken to Kate **********

Dear Kate,

I am an old client of Mike Partlow. He told me that you wanted a reference for a job you are considering him for. Let me start off by saying, you could not have made a finer choice. Mike is the best there is. He literally saved my life countless times in Iraq. Whatever you are using him for, you have made the right choice. You will be 100% safe.

When I think about my experience Mike, one time stands above the rest. Back in 2005, I was a contractor in Iraq and had hired Mike's security detail to escort me through Fallujah. Everything was going fine until our convoy was hit by an IED. I don't remember much, but next thing you know, I woke up in a Republican Guard prisoner camp with Mike. I thought we were goners. They took me and Mike into a hut, where there were at least eight armed soldiers placing bets. They were going to make Mike and I play Russian Roulette. Mike convinced a soldier to let him play with three bullets, instead of one, which I thought was crazy. Mike even put the gun to his head once and pulled the trigger. He started laughing, and the soldiers started laughing too. When they let their guard down, he immediately shot three of them in the head, grabbed one of their AKs, and gunned down the other five soldiers. I didn't think we would make it out of that one alive, but thanks to Mike's heroic actions, I am here today.

You cannot go wrong with Mike Partlow. He is the best of the best. One time he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad. He makes do with what he has and will survive the worst of situations.

If you have any more questions about Mike, please don't hesitate to contact me. I owe the man my life.

Nick

From Kate ******** to Me

what in the hell...

[fvillota]

nice!!!
i'm gonna bullet proof my mr2!

[grizzy225]

wow, thats some crazy ****...

funny too,lol

[muffinman]

Out of all the jobs I have done, 90% of my clients arrived at their destination unharmed.

not bad odds but some how that didn't bother her.

[Recklesss]

From Mike Partlow to ************@********.org
Hey,

I am interested in your truck. How many miles does it have on it?

Mike

From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:
do you have a number you can be reached at?

From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:
Yes I do. My number is (***)-492-159.

From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:
that isnt a phone nubmer there arent enough numbers

From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:
That is my phone number. You can get a number with less digits for a small monthly fee, which I am paying for.

From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:
well i dont think its working i tried calling and it said its not a number

From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:
Did you dial 1 first?

From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:
i just tried that and it is not working

From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:
Wait are you calling from Philly?

From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:
yes

From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:
Oh, my mistake. Since you are calling from Philly, you have to dial a 6 first, followed by the pound sign, and then my number.

From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:
IT ISNT WORKING

From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:
****, do you just want my office number? It is a little complicated.

From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:
yeah fine give me that

From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:
You have to call my office at (215)-592-**** and then put in extension 4491-2938 followed by the pound sign to be transferred to the Human Resources department. Once you are transferred there, you need to enter this pin as the security access code: 2A11-3D58-2F41-FW31. You will be put through to Katie, our receptionist. She is going to ask you a series of questions to confirm you are not a machine. Upon confirmation, tell her that you want to speak to Richard, tell him Mike sent you. When Richard gets on, ask him to page Mike Partlow. Use this code as a reference: 8281-WK82F. It should take about two minutes upon me receiving the page to make it to the secure office phone. I can only talk on that phone for about 15 seconds, so I will give you a randomly generated payphone number for you to call me on. I will then run down to the lobby and pick up the payphone, and then we can talk. Got it?

From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:
it says that is not a working number

From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:
Did you dial 1 first?

From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:
**** this. forget it

From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:
Wait, I also have a pager number. Do you want that instead?

[fvillota]

lmaoo x234567

[grizzy225]

wtf?! now that one was hilarious




i wouldve cursed him out looooooooooong ago

[grizzy225]

Originally Posted by fvillota

lmaoo x234567

^+1,678,345

[muffinman]

I tried that number and Richard said you were out so try again later.

[grizzy225]

no...








you didnt....


















did you?

[muffinman]

[muffinman]

[Recklesss]

dude if they get into an accident, that entire bench will wind up in her vagina

[grizzy225]

Originally Posted by Recklesss

dude if they get into an accident, that entire bench will wind up in her vagina

VERY TRUE RECK

[muffinman]

Originally Posted by Recklesss

dude if they get into an accident, that entire bench will wind up in her vagina

[Recklesss]

(682): you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower

[grizzy225]

Originally Posted by muffinman

uh ohhh

[Recklesss]

uh ohhhhhhhhhhhh
















































































Scraper Biiiiiiike!

[grizzy225]

god help us all

















if not then just help reckless lmfaooo